You suspect that your spouse is cheating on you? You think that your
boss is intentionally prolonging the long-awaited promotion? You are
convinced that your friend is avoiding you for some reason? These are
the questions that are in our head from time to time, and because of
that here are few tips that can help you discover if someone is lying to
you.
Dr. Paul Seager, a psychologist at the University of Lancaster, in his
book Would I lie to you? he reveals how people lied and he broke some of
the common myths about lying. Here are a few of his tips that can help
you to easily identify liars in your environment, but also to stop
believing in myths about identifying lies.
EYE CONTACT
The biggest myth about lying is that people who lie avoid looking
directly into your eyes. Good liars actually look right in the eye
longer and harder than someone who does not lie, because they know that
people believe that liars avoid a direct eye contact.
ANXIETY
Another myth states that a person that is lying shows great discomfort,
and is constantly fidgeting. The opposite is true. When someone has to
invent a lie, he eliminates all the attention from the body and directs
it to the brain. The result is an unusually calm liar, and much calmer
person than it really should be in that situation.
WATCHING UP AND RIGHT
The third myth is that the person that is lying is usually fixed on some
view point. This is not confirmed by any investigation. It is believed
that when our view is going up or down and left or right, we actually
dig in our memory and then we are telling the truth. However, our
sentences are involving different types of memories that stimulate
different parts of the brain. So Dr. Seager believes that it is a myth
as well.
TON OF THE VOICE
When a person is lying, its voice becomes slightly higher. Scientists
believe that a slightly higher voice than usual is a sign that those
people are most likely lying. The problem is that it is very difficult
to see. If it comes to people you know, then you can see if their voice
changes the color when you ask awkward questions. If it is a bit high,
it is most likely that it is the someone who really lies.
BOMBING ISSUES
When a some person lies, it must concentrate on the story, and this
usually results in easy answers. If you want to catch a person in a lie,
let him tell you what he intended, and then start with a series of
questions on it. If that person lies, his answers will be quite vague
and they will lack in details.
RETELLING BACKWARDS
This is a technique often used by police officers. They will ask someone
to explain their version of a particular event. Then they will request
that person to explain that again, but this time start from the end. If
someone lies, it will be very difficult and it is most likely that a
person will become confused.
SPEED OF THE RESPONSE
Experts call this latent period of reaction time, and this is the time
it takes a person to answer the question. If someone is lying, it will
invest a lot of effort to come up with a lie, and for that is needed
some time. Then it comes to a short pause between the set of questions
and answers.
VERBAL SIGNS
If you think your partner is cheating on you, you should ask him a
direct question: Are you cheating on me? It is important to listen
carefully to the answer. If answer is: No, of course not, you can
somewhat be sure that your partner is telling the truth. However, if the
answer to your question is: How can you ask me that? How long we know
each other? I am shocked at the moment... it will be suspicious. Namely,
it is typical to avoid the true answer and the person who says it is
most likely lying.
BEHAVIOR CHANGE
If you talk to someone who is relaxed and calm, you can determine what
is its normal behavior, or what it is in a normal circumstances. When
you set it a specific question and it suddenly change behavior, you can
be sure that something suspicious is going on.
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