Ways to Stand Out Without Showing Off

Instead of pretending that we don’t really like attention and we don’t care what anyone thinks, let’s mute our representatives for a moment and admit that we all want to be noticed. Not only do we want to be noticed, but we want to be admired. I dare you to say it ain’t so.

The only problem with this is when we’re so focused on impressing people that we stop being



And for what?

Perhaps because we value all the things that we aren’t more than we value the things that we are? Because we've been misunderstood or embarrassed before, and we’ll do anything to avoid it happening again? Because we don’t realize that our most divine & supernatural strengths come from being soulful and self-aware and undiminished by our fear of criticism?


ourselves and we start focusing on superficial things that don't matter. Spending money we don’t have, saying things we don’t mean and throwing ourselves around just to be perceived a certain way. Eventually that kind of tomfoolery gets messy.

Most of us are so desperate to hide our insecurities that we attack before being attacked and we create diversions when they’re not necessary.

This series is about peeling back our layers of defense mechanisms so we can attract the kind of attention that we want from men, friends, colleagues, clients, prospects, you name it. I'm talking about how to manifest attractive energy in your life - without having to show off or be unnatural.

{1} First and foremost, know thyself. Have you ever known anyone who’s so invested in their representative that they’ve completely lost touch with their own true identity? It’s quite transparent, isn’t it? Don’t let the pressure to fit in make you a stranger to yourself.

{2} Be careful what you say about yourself. The words "I am" are such powerful words – be careful how you complete them. I can’t say this enough – if you want to attract positive attention, be a positive person starting with how you speak about yourself. It's a buzzkill to be around someone who talks bad about themselves all the time.

{3} Smile. Something as simple as a smile can completely change the course of someone’s day. A smile conveys confidence and warmth and makes people feel at ease when they’re around you.

{4} Be honest. When you don’t reveal your true thoughts, feelings and beliefs, you are sabotaging your chance to have sincere and loving relationships. While you think you are protecting yourself, you are really only preserving how you want to appear, not who you really are. You want to be loved for yourself, not for your representative.

{5} Acknowledge your mistakes. We’re so busy trying to appear perfect that we don’t realize how much more relatable and accessible we are when we admit our shortcomings. I don’t know what this says about me, but I’m always annoyed by people who try to gloss over anything that might show their imperfections. Show me that you're not a robot, please.

{6} Don’t make everything about you. We all do it. We’re having a conversation and we can hardly wait for the other person to finish talking so we can relate everything back to ourselves. Differentiate yourself by being a good listener and being generous with your attention. Give it away and it will come back to you.

{7} Don’t expect anything in return. Do kind, spontaneous things for people. Do it because it makes you feel good. The bonus is that it makes the recipient feel good too.

{8} Share what makes you special. Put your soul juice on everything. If you’re funny, make people laugh. If you draw, draw someone a picture. If you sense that someone is confused, pull them aside and help them understand what’s going on. Use your gifts.

{9} Go against the grain. Believe in yourself enough to state a perspective that deviates from popular opinion. You don’t have to change anyone’s mind to your way of thinking, but add your two cents to the discussion and have a voice. You're unique. Don't be afraid to show that.

{10} Don't cling to people or situations. It's takes some life experience, but you have to learn to let go. Do it with class. Do it with some fire. I know it hurts, but when you get through it you'll be proud of yourself for creating space in your life for what's next.

 *curlynikki